I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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