just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
