Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
