Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
