He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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