ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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