Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
