its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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