Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we made out on top of his cat.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize