? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
