:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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