I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will pee on everything he values.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
