in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize