What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
