Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
