i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
