Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
