So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
