Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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