I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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