Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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