Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
