I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
