this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
