Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
