I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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