i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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