youre lurking in front of me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
