Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
