After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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