With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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