She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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