Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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