I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
