It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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