Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
