the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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