We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize