But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
