So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
