Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
