you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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