im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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