Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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