Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
