some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
