he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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