you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
