You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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