I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
