brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
