dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i have herpe
just one?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
