Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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