You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
