Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
