If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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