idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
