I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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