i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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