It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
