that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
