shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
