i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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