East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
