She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize