Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
