tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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