we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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