You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
