The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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