I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
